When I was a wee lil’ one of 13, I saw a movie that creeped me out for month. The CRATE was teh scariest story. OMG!!! I’m utorrenting as I type! weeee

Som’a you youngins’ r too little to remember this gem. aheh….

SPOILERS WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

George Romero and Steven King worked together to make this excellent horror movie with an all star cast.(as usual tom Savini had a small role as a garbage man!) This has always been one of my favorite movies. I remember when I was a little kid, my mom took me to see Creepshow. I was standing on line to go in and laughing at the cardboard cut-out of the skeleton- while all the other little kids were on line to see E.T.. Oddly enough, I got scared when I saw the E.T. cut-out. Anyway… back to the movie. It starts off with this crazy father yelling at his son for reading horror comics. He doesn’t want the kid reading about things coming out of crates and eating people, “that’s why god made fathers babe, that’s why god made fathers”. After he throws the beloved comic in the trash it opens up and blows down the street. From this point on the comic’s five stories are told. They aren’t really very scary, but they are very fun and humorous. Below are very brief summaries of the stories.

1. Father’s Day: Aunt Bedelia: Vevica Lindfors
Nathan: Jon Lormer Nathan’s Corpse: John Amplas Hank: Ed Harris Cass: Elizabeth Reyan Richard: Warner Shook Mrs. Danvers: Nann Mogg Sylvia: Carrie Nye

It’s father’s Day and seven years ago Aunt Bedelia bashed her dad’s head in with a marble ashtray. Every Father’s Day since then she drives out to the family cemetery and meditates. When Bedelia is done, she goes inside to eat a baked ham. This family legend is explained to Ed Harris as they wait for the dear old aunt. Time passes and Aunt Bedelia never comes inside…hmmm? This is because her father’s maggot filled corpse has risen from the dead and killed her. A nosy Ed Harris is next and is crushed by a giant gravestone. Inside, the rest of the family is getting impatient. Sylvia and poor Mrs. Danvers get there’s and the obnoxious brother and sister team finally get to meet the gristly rotten dead guy. Nathan Grantham finally got his cake… after all those years.

2. The Lonesome Death of Jordy Varrill:
Jordy: Steven King jordy’s Dad: Bingo O’Malley
That lovable ‘nunkhead’ Steven King stars as Jordy Varrill, a dim-witted farmer who discovers a meteor has crashed on his land. Extremely funny dream sequences show his plans and inner thoughts as the once prized meteor breaks in half by accident. The green slime that oozes from inside the meteor causes a green plant-like fungus to grow all over him and his farm. By morning the fungus has completely engulfed Jordy and his farm, as it creeps down the road. Jordy’s luck was in, just this once, as he successfully blows his head off.

3. The Crate: Henry: Hal Holbrook Wilma: Adriene Barbeau Dexter: Fritz Weaver
Janitor: Don Keefer
This is the best of the 5 stories. While looking for a lost quarter, a janitor discovered an old crate under a college laboratory’s stairs. The date printed was July 16, 1834- so he decideed to called anthropology professor, Dexter to check it out. They both drag the giant crate out and try to open it. Once half open, something inside started to make a chirping sound. Like an idiot, the janitor jamed his hand inside the crate, only to have it practically bitten off. The crate swung open and some sort of monstrous gorilla thing pulled the janitor in and ate him up. Dexter was of course extremely disturbed and ran out. Once upstairs he runs into an overworked grad student, who like an idiot, decided to check it out. He too was eaten alive. Dexter runs to his friend Henry for help. Henry druged Dexter after he was told the whole story. You see, Henry had already decided that he was going to feed his loud-mouth wife (Wilma) to the thing in the crate. He wrote her a note, instructing her to go straight to the lab when she got home. In the mean time, he mopped up all the blood and guts in the lab. Wilma, or Billy as she liked to be called, gets there and he tells her some crazy story about Dexter raping some girl. So poor Wilma, thinking the victim was hiding under the stairs, went over to check. The monster ate her too and Henry figures out a way to chain it back up in the crate. He then drove it to a cliff and through it over. The crate plunged 75 feet down into the water where the monster broke free. This monster is still on the loose today eating woman and children every where. (ok…ok…i made that part up)

4.Something to Tide You Over: Richard: Leslie Nielson Harry: Ted Danson Becky (the maiden fair): Gaylen Ross
Harry and Becky were having an affair. Becky was still married to Richard. Richard never gives up anything that belongs to him. He goes to Harry’s house and informs him that if he ever wants to see Becky alive again, he will do as he says. They get to Richardโ€™s beach house and Richard buries Harry in the sand up to his neck. He brings a TV down and places it in front of Harry. Here he watches Becky, who is buried up to her neck too. Only she is buried further down the beach where the tide is already beginning to come in. Richard tells Harry that he has a chance to live if he doesn’t lose his cool. Well, Harry doesn’t survive. Either does Becky… they both drown. Later on Richard begins to hear funny noises and starts freaking out. He opens his bedroom door and…. ahhh…. there they are. Becky and Harry are there, all greenish blue and swollen with seaweed hanging all over them. In their own merky voices they inform Richard that they have dug him a hole of his own down on the beach. He shoots them. They laugh. He can’t kill them, they are already dead. They bury Richard up to his head in the sand just as the tide is about to come in again. Richard boasts that he “can hold his breathe for long time!” Too bad it usually takes about 8 hours for the tide to go back out.

5. They’re Creeping Up on You:
Mr. Pratt pays $3000 a month for his germ proof apartment. You can understand why he might be angry when he starts to find roaches everywhere. Through a series of phone calls, we learn that Mr. Pratt is not only a raciest, but a damn mean old man. Anyway… there is a power shortage and he can’t get out of his apartment. Just at this time, thousands of roaches begin flooding into his apartment. They come in through the heating vents and the sink… everywhere. Completely freaked out, he runs into an airtight room and seals the door. He plans on waiting here until the power is restored and he can safely escape. Then he notices some movement under some blankets. Ugh…. he pulls the blanket off and underneath are thousands and thousands of gross GIANT roaches. They attack him and he dies. The end.

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8 Comments on Creepshow: 1982

  1. I remember it well *sigh*

    Sorry.. I does love the horror movies ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. ACK! The eyes alone terrified me. I couldn’t even read further. It’s dark. I’m alone. I’m a cheap scare.

  3. Creepshow kicked ass. It was the second “Stephen King” movie I saw (the first being “Firestarter” starring Drew Barrymore. ๐Ÿ˜€

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