Yah…some folks may wonder why I don’t got into details about my life and pour my heart out in here like some others do. Well, ya see…in the past I have been really open about my stuff and not had many blocks to doing so, but I have never really discussed the daily goings on of my personal life on here. I have, if you look back at like Dec., mentioned things in cryptic ways, but I don’t even really do that anymore. I DO post music to express some emotions, but not as much.

WHY, you ask?

I have noticed that my personal life goes much more smoothly when I keep things close to the breast, so to speak. If I were the other parties involved in my home life, my romantic life and my friendships…I would prefer the details stay private.

I have a filter set up on here that is called “emotional private” for when I am so upset or full of some feeling or another that I’ll burst if I don’t get it out, but I have not used that much. and…if I do that I usually delete it later. There are only 5 people who can see that filter…and I am going to cut that to just three.

I have also found that I have someone in my life who has become a true confidant and when I am comfortable opening up about things I do it with that person. That is a blessing and I feel that it is important to have that person know that I trust them and them alone with some of my stuff.

I have not always been this way…but, I tend to be a little suspicious of people’s honesty when they say that what I tell them is just between us. I have found that, in the past, I have completely trusted folks who have betrayed my trust to the one person I did not want to know an item or to people who do not have my best interest at heart. I just can’t do that anymore.

I have closed my inner circle pretty tightly around me and some folks have just naturally drifted out of it. And…I am ok with that.

I am always open to creating knew and fully honest lasting friendships and think that some “new” readers of my journal and I have enough of a connection that I can see that occurring between us. 🙂

Now, what do I do when I want to talk to someone about the one person I tell all my other things to? Well, that is a really good question that I struggle with. I only have one person I can talk to about my deepest most sacred emotions and she is a sister of my soul. Now that I think of it, there are two…but one of them is SO hard to get in touch with. Yet…our spirits talk often.

I am grateful for my soul sisters and for the gift of my confidant who I have mentioned. For most of my life the problem has been that I am the one who listens, the one who has wisdom and advice to offer…but few listen back with the same compassion. That dynamic can be a huge burden and can …at times…make a person feel under-appreciated and taken for granted. I can truly say that I get back what I give and MUCH MORE from these three. It pleases me to be able to be there for them as well.

The 4th person in my life who I can “say anything” to without judgment is my mother…she is  an amazing woman. Only thing is, as a Capricorn, she doesn’t “deal” well with my emotional spillage. And that’s ok with me. She is the person I go to when I need someone to be practical and even pragmatic about the situation. Goodness knows I need that too.

ok…I think I have purged what I needed to on this topic. I need to go write in two of my paper journals now.

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7 Comments on Taty is Tight Lipped Eh?

  1. These are very interesting musings, thank you for sharing.

    I have just recently become a little more open with my livejournal. I tend to keep things close also. Not that I mind sharing aspects of my life with others more so because I have come to realize inviting another person view on a current situation usually complicates the matter. Some times for the better but often it’s an unnecessarily complication and things get muddled.

    • B.E.M. says:

      hey…

      I just added you to my yahoo messenger. you never emailed me at gmail.

      • hopefully I got your address right. I sent you another email, lets see if it works! 😀 I’m still so new to Gmail it is entirely possible I screwed up in the mailing process. Let me know if you got it or not. I don’t have an email account with the yahoo messenger account (at least it doesn’t let me access it) but my email that I use is wind_horse5 at yahoo dot ca. Perhaps that will be the better one to use if gmail keeps not working.

        If I have made myself out to sound computer illiterate that is exactly right! 😉

      • Oh and I added you back on yahoo 😀

  2. *nodding in complete understanding* I can relate you your wish to keep private things private. I do so also for the most part with the exception of events and the like (there’s nothing to hide, after all). You have every right to pick and choose whom you want to be most open with, certainly. I’m glad you have soul sisters…two out of the three I had seemed to have replaced their souls over the last few years, so the connection isn’t nearly what it once was *sighs*

    • B.E.M. says:

      hmmm well, that does happen. These two women I speak of are sisters from another life…I feel it in my bones…their core hearts and souls will never change. It really sucks when you THINK ou have that with some folks and it’s not real. 🙁

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