Do you think that people are too quick to fall in love? Why?

Do you think that people think they REALLY love someone when they are just “in love” or infatuated? Explain.

Do you think some people are unable to TRUELY love? Why?

What does it mean to love someone?

What does it mean to you to be in love?

Do you think you have ever REALLY loved another person? When did you know?

Just curious…subject came up on another message board I am on and I KNOW my opinions…but I am curious about others…especially you men folk.

I have talked in depth about my take on “love” in past posts. Do a search if you are curious.

IMHO: I think being “in love” and really loving a person are different. One falls “in love” with a person’s voice, body, mannerisms, smile, kindness, sense of humor, etc. One LOVES a person’s ethics, politics, sense of self, how they treat others, personality, quirks, blemishes, pain, ups, downs, all of the above…

As I have said before IMHO love is selfless. If one finds themself judging or belittling the person they say they love…they may be infatuated or “in love”, but THAT is not LOVE.

NOTE: The only reason I am asking this now is that a friend did this elsewhere and since I got NO responses the first time I did this…I thought I would try again. 🙂

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7 Comments on Question of Love: Romantic Love I Mean

  1. Well OK, but only because both work e-mail and our customer database servers are down. (It’s a bad day to work for the IT department.)

    Do you think that people are too quick to fall in love? Why?
    In general, yes. Because I myself have done so, and I’ve seen LOTS of others do the exact same thing. Funny thing is, you often know you’re traveling down that road WAY too fast, but you can’t stop. Too fast because, although all the positive data gets disgorged to other friends and family over, and over, and over, the negative data is blithely ignored.

    Do you think that people think they REALLY love someone when they are just “in love” or infatuated? Explain.
    Certainly, I think you’d have a pretty difficult time even getting two or three different people to agree on what precisely these terms do and do not mean, so there’s bound to be confusion. Then, you’ve got the whole male verses female perspective, which although I hate to generalize, do often come from totally different places.

    Do you think some people are unable to TRUELY love? Why?
    Unable? H’m, unwilling perhaps, but I don’t know about unable. A person is unable to walk if they don’t have legs, but even then movement is possible. I think a human being would either have to be dead or seriously deranged before unable would apply.

    What does it mean to love someone?
    To share with and care for a person above all others. To value and hold their opinion in high regard. To be enriched by their presence every day, and strive to enrich their life as well. To be beguiled by them. And, because I’m me, great sex. *grin*

    What does it mean to you to be in love?
    Ah, once again with the beguiling. A rush of emotions when you are with or when you think about the other person. Lack of judgment? *smile* Great sex.

    Do you think you have ever REALLY loved another person? When did you know?
    Yes. When did I transition from “in love” to “true love.” *shrug* Who can say. Perhaps when I stopped trying to keep secrets. Maybe when “trust” didn’t have a question mark after it anymore. I rather doubt it’s something which can be predicted or scheduled.

    Dan

    • B.E.M. says:

      I enjoyed your answers. Thanks!

      I agree that each and every person defines LOVE differently. That is why people who go into relationships with an expectation of the other feelings exactly what they feel on their schedule, end up unhappy.

  2. Well I’m a woman-folk but I here I go anyways.

    -Do you think that people are too quick to fall in love? Why?

    I think people believe they fall in love too quickly. True love is hard enough to find and comes, sometimes fast, sometimes slowly (at least from what I’ve observed).

    -Do you think that people think they REALLY love someone when they are just “in love” or infatuated? Explain.

    I think the mind is a powerful thing and we can trick ourselves to truly believing we are in love with anyone. I think the most important thing to remember that love, true love, is good for us. Not some all consumming, negative, energy draining experience.

    -Do you think some people are unable to TRUELY love? Why?

    No, not unless they are a sociopath. But the mind, being tricky, can make a person believe they aren’t able to fall in love. Walls go up. Unless that person is willing to do something radical or something radical happens to them that type of ‘unable to love’ thought pattern keeps perpetuating itself.

    -What does it mean to love someone?

    It’s healthy for both people. You care about the other person in a self-less way. love is returned (love seems to be a two way street like that). You will carry that person (or some part of their energy) always inside you, regardless of where they go/ you go.

    -What does it mean to you to be in love?

    Same as above. That and I stop eating. Haha.

    -Do you think you have ever REALLY loved another person? When did you know?

    Once but it was only a glimpse.

    I should add that these answers are just a relection of my opinions and life experience to this point. Who knows what the future will teach me.

    • B.E.M. says:

      I think the most important thing to remember that love, true love, is good for us. Not some all consumming, negative, energy draining experience.

      I AGREE WITH ALL MY SOUL.

  3. castlelady says:

    Do you think that people are too quick to fall in love? Why?
    Yes, I do. We all long for someone to have feelings for us, to care for us, someone we can lean on and feel safe with. Often people get so lonely that they pick up the signals someone else sends the wrong way. Amd while I believe in love at first sight, I also believe that “true” love grows over time as you get to know the other person better.

    Do you think that people think they REALLY love someone when they are just “in love” or infatuated? Explain.
    I do, yes. People fall in love with a pretty face, the way someone acts and interacts with others, their overall attitude….sometimes we even fall in love because of the way someone dresses, as stupid as that sounds.

    Do you think some people are unable to TRUELY love? Why
    I think if someone grew up without love it’s very hard for them to give love to another person, because they don’t know how. This can be very scary, especially if the other person shows love and affection to the one who has never experienced this before.

    What does it mean to love someone?
    To love someone in my opinion means to become one with this person, heart and soul. To trust them fully and completely, and wanting to spend the rest of their life with each other. True lovers are soulmates.

    What does it mean to you to be in love?
    To be “in love” is the same as in question number 2, while question number 3 is how I see true love.

    Do you think you have ever REALLY loved another person? When did you know?
    To be honest, I don’t know. I think I did at the time, but the more I thought about it, the more I doubt that I ever experienced the real thing. There is one love though I know is for sure and for real for me, and probably the only love I ever want and need….and this is my love as a mother to my child and the love of my child for me.

    • B.E.M. says:

      awwwe…love the last answer. I actually realized I REALLY loved a man when I realized that I felt the same need to nurture and support him that I do for my mother and son.

      • castlelady says:

        That is so wonderful! I should’ve added that, cause that’s what I did in my (ex)marriage as well. Unfortunately he didn’t like it, but that wouldn’t stop me from doing it all over again if I ever meet the right one.

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