This could be long so…

“I couldn’t sleep last night. Or the night before. It may have been that I drank coffee in the afternoon, but I am not sure about that. I can usually drink cofee late at night and sleep like a baby.

I got up at 1:30AM and turned on my computer. I found out that I’m the Swedish Chef. That made me laugh. I played a game until I thought I’d be able to doze off, but it still took over an hour of watching crazy movies to get to sleep.

If my forhead had a sign on it, it would say “occupied”. Can’t seem to clear out the lobby. One thought is over staying it’s welcome.

Today, I have some other thoughts trying to push that oen out of the way.

I did a tarot reading for myself. Actually two. One romance related, one finance/work related.

I’m trying to figure out why it’s been so hard to find a job, that’s not on the East Coast, that I am not over qualified for.
It’s flattering to be told that you could do the job, and well, but that you would leave in a year because it’s not your passion, and you are meant for bigger things than this. Or having a woman,  from a political organization that you admire greatly for theirr work in peace and justice, say she is interested in you, but are you sure you want to take a job this mundane?

That’s great. I agreed with them. I knew these things when I applied. But…I really need to be out there getting stuff done.

I love what I do for WYSE as a volunteer and would want nothing more right now then to be a full time staffer there.
Right now I am doing a couple of things:

1. I moderate their online forums. Although I may need to learn java to be able to really contribute. I wonder who I know that has a Java for dummies book?? hmmmm

2. I am a co-chair, there are three of us, on their annual fundraising luncheon events committee. Logistics is my thing. Location, food, set up…alll that good stuff. I really enjoy this. It’s what I did at IRWA.

3. I try to provide moral support to the E.D., who is an amzing woman who I admire deeply and love for the warm and powerful woman she is. We share a birthday! :~}  She’s one of my soul sisters.

I blabbed on the other day about what I want to be doing professionaly. I scour the ads daily. Friends end me job leads. I send my resume and don’t get called for whatever reason. Then when I get called it just not the right fit.

I was actually called for a job in DC. A National Director for a program working with VISTA. I was a VISTA volunteer when I was 25, so they gave that special consideration. But, teh posting was misleading. It was advertised here in LA. They said the job location was LA. They talked about the LA site and wanting to expand nationally. Then when she called 3 weeks alter to ask if I was still interested, she told me it was in Arlington, VA. OF COURSE IT WAS!

The good news? I qualify for a director position with a national youth organization. The bad news? I cannot leave LA right now. I have committments. J’s happiness and stability takes priority.

Lately, when I need help, I have been afraid to ask for it. I ahve become afraid to ask for rides, and have therfor canceled plans with friends beacuse of it. The Jeep just sits there getting dusty in the garage. I can’t get it on the road until I get ahead of the 8 ball, so to speak. I figure 2 months of a real salary and it will be humming down the road. That will make a big change for me. I’ll be able to get out and do some things I have been wanting to do. I can’t stand it when say one of my favorite bands is playing at a Day of the Dead celebrations, for free, in the Valley and I can’t just get up and go.

I know this is long. I don’t expect everyone to raed it. ere’s a musical interlude. This song was on my mind when I woke up last night:   India Arie: I See God in You

I have started doing those Hatha Yoga videos. It’s not as magical as being in a class, or with another person doing yoga. I like that energy. But, it’s helping me get inside myself and ground.

I also found some really nice morning and evening devotions that a woman in has posted.

Ok. That’s enough. Just thought I should post something real here. I don’t like to fill my journal with quizlets. Although some are irresistable. :~p

Have a blessed day.”  

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